How do you know you are getting old?
– Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
– The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
– You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.
– Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
– Your children begin to look middle-age.
– You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
– Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
– You look forward to a dull evening.
– Your favorite part of the newspaper is ’20 years ago today’.
– You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons.
– You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
– Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
– You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 106 around the golf course.
– Your back goes out more often than you do.
– Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
– You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
– You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
– You know all the answers and nobody ask you the questions.
– You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who do exercise.
– A fortune teller offers to read your face instead of you palms.
– The little gray haired lady you help to cross the street is your wife.
– It used to take 3 minutes to dry your hair. Now it takes 30 seconds. You spend the two and half minutes drying your wrinkled body.
– What used to work does not work anymore like a clogged water pipe. Your joints squeak like iron gates.